No Subject

You know, throughout my few years at Stanford, people have always complimented me on my wit. Always with the adjective 'witty'. I really don't mean to be tooting my own horn; I totally appreciate any comment anyone has ever made to that effect, though I've never really known what they meant, and I'm not sure they know either. I've sort of taken the describer 'witty' to mean that you're able to insult people without getting caught, and the drier the wit, the more severe the insults. Maybe that's sort of a misanthropic interpretation of wit, I don't know. And if dry wit is based on subtle insults, then what of wet wit? Wit can't be wet. Better stuff my cheeks with those little paper packets of silica gel.

Of course, the long term goal of someone who 'studies' English in the way I do is as follows: step 1) make witty comments about cereal, step 2) get $160,000 college degree, step 3) ???, step 4) PROFIT!! Am I doomed to be speaking about 99 cent stores and halloween decorations in a monotonous voice on NPR accompanied by mellow musical interludes? Am I doomed to that!? Have you ever seen what Garrison Keillor actually looks like!?

Pish Posh. I'll find something much more mundane than that. Though now I'm only writing this to delay a paper on Christopher Marlowe that I've been delaying for a month (I figured, what's another ten minutes of delayment?).

So here's a picture of a beer bottle.